
Today The Girls are coming to you live from The Shed where Mike Leach was
holed up when everyone else got the memo that concussions are supa-bad. And
now he has lots of time to think about his tough love after receiving a
little tough love from Texas Tech. Hope he has a backup plan. Maybe he can
check out the new opening in Florida. Oh. Maybe not. Urban Meyer just
unretired. He needs to take a lesson from Mr. Retirement himself, Brett
Favre. You need to leave us with more time to ponder your absence before
you thrust yourself upon us again. Like a fortnight, maybe. Not just an
overnight. But we have the Olympics to focus on as Bode Miller takes to the
slopes and Johnny Weir, a Fantoo Girls fav, gets creative with Lady GaGa.
We attempt to find out who’s who in Curling and fail. But we discover the
art of Roller Derby and won’t rest till it’s an Olympic sport. Go Daddy
would be all over it. Robin’s suitably distracted by the upcoming Winter
Classic and the morose weather report that suggests a slicker and rain boots
for the OUTDOOR hockey game. It’s a wee bit hard to play hockey in rain.
Snow, yes. Rain…not so much. But if the weather doesn’t comply, you can
always check out the rosters for the Olympic ice hockey matches. Yes, Jerry
in Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica, they will include NHL players, as you will
learn in our Fan-Tutor. But only for this year. 2014 is up in the air.
And you thought concussions were only for those on the ice or the gridiron.
No, says Ron Artest, who was bitten by the bug as he played Santa on
Christmas. His wife was perched over him, raising him from his fall-induced
slumber. TMZ reports that there was no golf club in site, but a synthetic
basketball was spotted rolling from the scene. Get better Artest – those
Lakers need you! Looking for a summer breeze in the midst of all this
Winter? Look no further. Tony Parker and Eva Longoria are a ray of
sunshine in this little diddy: The Girls are hard at work selecting a song
for their very own parody. Thinking something from Clockwork Orange might
be just right. Can you believe the final moments of the NFL regular season
are upon us? Seems like it was just 2008 and we were discussing who will
rest their starters, who will sneak into the playoffs and who thinks
(erroneously) they have been mathematically eliminated from contention.
Actually, that would be Rex Ryan circa 2009, who is a hair’s width away from
the promised land after slaying Goliath’s stand-ins in Indy. If Indy is
eliminated in the first round you can bet the team will be playing games on
Sunday from now till training camp. We wonder if the Indy fans would have
been totally cool with it should Peyton have landed himself on the concussed
list in a meaningless game. You play to win the game, right? Tom Cable IS
Nostradamus. He is correct: without JaMarcus Fatus the Raiders would be in
the playoffs. Maybe he’s not Nostradamus. Maybe he can evaluate talent and
Al Davis should start evaluating his exit strategy with a little help from
Roger Goodell. If, and we do mean if, Al Davis dies, how long before
someone discovers his death was a little assisted? And how long before Brad
Childress throws up his hands (accidentally touching a referee) and says,
“You do it!” to Brett Favre? Probably already happened. And he just might
do it. If the Packers don’t spoil his party. Lastly, how is it that the
NFL always has the right match-ups late in the season? Another Cowboys V
Eagles showdown heads our way this Sunday. It will be a battle. Let’s just
hope everyone lands in one piece with their enhanced crotches intact. Which
leads us to this week’s IT HAS TO BE SAID. So grab your undies, your noise
maker and don’t drink and bake…it’s time to talk sports with The Girls!
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